moodwriter: (Default)
[personal profile] moodwriter
Unfortunately we can't read minds. That would solve quite a few marital problems too.

I'm writing this because my own communication skills have taken a hit lately, and I don't trust my instincts anymore. This is not against anyone, and I'm not trying to right a wrong or change anything. This is just a heartfelt plea for the importance of communication.

It's not always easy to hear that you've done something wrong, or that the way you express yourself is not clear enough, or that you're overreacting.

I've come across a lot of people who've been able to have wonderful conversations about all things under the sky and beyond. One of them is a dear, dear friend who started to act disrespectfully towards me at one point.

He can be utterly frustrating, even now, but it was never that. He just started to act like I don't matter even though we had been friends for years. Suddenly, everything I did was meaningless, stupid, and my opinions were next to worthless. I confronted him about this because it became hurtful, so much so that even my husband reacted to it, and he's often very mellow about things.

Instead of attacking each other we started to solve the situation. He said that he had started to get annoyed with me because I kept ranting about scientific things (I had studied university level courses and I was so excited about them that I actually became condescending towards him - or at least that's how it felt to him). He hadn't realized how he had acted out, and I think it was the time my husband said to him that he can't act like that when he finally realized that something was wrong.

We talked. We went through the whole thing, and finally found a mutual understanding about it. And today, he's still one of my closest, dearest friends, and he's always the one I go to when I need guidance in my life. He loves me; I love him. Nothing changed, except we stopped being asses towards each other. Because we talked. Because we didn't sit on the high horse. Because we admitted that there was something wrong.

We can't read each other's minds so it's important to say: this hurt me.

It's also important to try to find the common ground because even if we can't stay together, we've respected each other enough as human beings, and that's important. To me, at least.

We deserve to be treated well, even if we don't always agree.
From:
Anonymous
OpenID
Identity URL: 
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

Profile

moodwriter: (Default)
moodwriter

June 2014

S M T W T F S
123 4567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 27th, 2017 06:53 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios