A Problem

Jun. 25th, 2013 11:11 pm
moodwriter: (Default)
[personal profile] moodwriter
I'm unable to sleep at the moment. This is the second night in a row.

Tonight I can't sleep because I'm actually stressing over my coworker. I like her. She's kind, hardworking, and harmless, meaning that she never tries to create any drama.

She is also very very insecure. Which means that she comes to me with every little problem. And I mean it's constant. Every single day.

And it's actually starting to bother me quite a lot. Especially since I don't have a lot of patience. I'm very temperamental, have always been, but I try to reign it. I try not to direct it towards people. I try to pull my irritation back as much as I can, but I know it's leaking through, and I don't want her to feel like she can't approach me with things that she's not sure about.

But she's been working there for over five years. I started last August. Why does she need confirmation for every little thing?

I know I take responsibility. I know I'm fast at finding out things. I know I know a lot of things. But I learned because I decided to find out. You won't learn if you always ask for help. You never remember if you rely on someone else. You never start to trust your own judgment if you always ask permission/confirmation.

It's very important to ask questions and realize that you don't know everything. But it's also equally important to look for the answers first and only after looking, turning for someone else.

I don't know how to teach her confidence, or if it's even my place to do that. But I'm starting to get so irritated that even her way of huffing and puffing annoys me. I know when she's walking towards my room and not towards the printer. And everything is starting to annoying me. And I don't want to be annoyed by her, but I don't know how to stop her from constantly relying on me. I'm ten years younger than her. I wasn't this confident and knowledgeable three years ago. I just made a decision to learn. How can I make her see that she can too? Or how can I stop her from driving me absolutely crazy with her constant interruption. Argh!

Date: 2013-06-25 08:43 pm (UTC)
casey270: tommy wineglass (Default)
From: [personal profile] casey270
one of my first bosses had a nice trick that was very subtle. she'd say, 'That's a good question! What do you think should be done?' when you answered her, she'd praise you for figuring out the best way to handle the situation. or she'd correct what you said in such a way that you got to the right way to handle it, but still thought it was your idea.

she was a master at it & after a few times, even the people who were most hesitant to take responsibility for making decisions found more confidence. it was a joy to watch her work. she was about 25 at the time & had people ranging in age from 16 to over 80 working under her.

Date: 2013-06-26 01:29 am (UTC)
thraceadams: (Adam and Tommy HUGS)
From: [personal profile] thraceadams
OH damn bb, so sorry this is so rough for you. It's a bit like having a child around tbh. My kid is constantly asking "why" - "Hang the towel up." "Why?" *rolls eyes* I can completely understand how frustrated you are about this whole thig.

I do think your idea to tell her to find the answer on her own, and when it's something bigger, maybe you could give her a few hints as to where to find the answer on her own and remind her you have your own work and when you get time you'll help her further if she still needs it.

Tough situation bb. *HUGS*

Date: 2013-07-03 06:17 am (UTC)
midnightbluee: (manson)
From: [personal profile] midnightbluee
Oh no...life doesn't need to be harder than it already is, but its inevitable with no sleep.

It's surprising to me that you described yourself as temperamental. Feeling like I have a good idea of how you are because you shared so much,I don't ever remember you coming across as irritable. But knowing that makes me feel less hopeless because I try my darn hardest to keep calm and composed, on a daily basis when I'm in school \0/

I can totally see why she would do that, though. And it's all your fault, since it's easy for people to be comfortable with you. -.- you don't appear to be quick to judge, and it sounds like you would be the type of person just sitting there willing to help everyone.

I think maybe you could gently and assertively tell her that your work demands a fairly high amount of concentration and that you could help her during breaks? I'm sure she'd understand. And when you come around to helping her you could explain how to have good judgments by herself...

Do the two of you have different tasks assigned at work?

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