Feb. 5th, 2013

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I wrote this message yesterday, then deleted it. This is one of the only subjects I don’t really like to talk about because I’m always unsure how people will react. The reason why I want to write about this is that I think someone might gain something from it. I have a quirky world view, and it’s helped me a lot during the years.

I always say I haven’t suffered a lot. In all honesty, I don’t know if it is true. I just feel like it because the way I see life affects to the way I suffer. I can’t say I know how others look at life, or if there even is a more common way of looking at life. It’s possible that all seven billion of us have a different view, and there’s nothing common about it. Even though we’re children of our parents, and even though we learn from people older than us, we still think for ourselves – most of the time. Hopefully.

This is not me saying it’s the only right way to look at things, or that it’s the best way to look at things. This is me saying: the world I see is both terribly heavy and terribly light, and I appreciate standing in the middle of that pressure.

I’m not religious. I don’t think I’m even spiritual anymore. I’m soft to the world and its beings. That’s probably the biggest truth about me. I don’t have anything guiding me in this world. I don’t follow any dogma. What I feel is what’s inside me. It took me forever to realize that what I’m looking for is not anywhere anyone else has ever written. It’s in me. And I’m not saying it’s anything what people call religion or god or spirit or zen or enlightenment. It’s just the knowledge that you’re good enough just the way you are.

So that said, I want to talk about how I see life and death. )

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